The Ab Roller

You remember this thing? This one of the first pieces of ab equipment sold on TV. I remember my mom picking up one of these things sometime in the mid 90s. I think I actually used it more than she did. I did crunches, crunches with my legs to the side, crunches with my feet in the air. Every imaginable crunch I could think of I did with this thing. Hundreds of crunches a night. What did I know? I was just a skinny 18 year old trying to get a six pack for the beach.

I thought these things were a thing of the past...until the other day. As usualwhen I'm working out, I like to spy on everyone else. I'm either watching someone do something foolish on a Bosu ball or listening to one guy in spandex give out horrible advice to some other clueless guy in spandex. So I'm working out and I see this woman being given a tour of the gym. You know how it goes. "Here are the locker rooms". "We have nothing but the best cardio equipment". Or, "Here is our empty free weight area because most people are terrified of building real world strength". The only thing this woman was concerned about was the ab equipment. "Do you have one of those twist machines? You know the one you sit on and wrench your lower back from one way to the other?". "What about the ab crunch machine where I can make my posture even worse than it is now?". But the one piece she was most concerned about was the ab roller. Thankfully the gym does not have one of these outdated pieces. But from the conversation I overheard going to this was going to make or break the deal for her. No matter what the front desk rep told her she could use or do other than the ab roller, she kept insisting that she wished the gym had an ab roller. And you know what? I don't think she signed up for a membership. Not having some cheap piece of equipment that does nothing for your six pack if you're carrying around 25% body fat anyway, broke the deal for this woman.

Just another day at the gym.